I was reading Helen Keller's Story of my Life... in which she writes about her first experiences writing as a little girl. She wrote something (as far as she knew for the first time) and she gave it to someone as a gift. She was very proud and excited. It was published, it was great! it was called The Frost King . But apparently it was not her creation. Somewhere down the line... there was a story shared with her, very much like the one she had written. She was embarrassed. She was certain that she had not remembered that story, and that it was not done on purpose. Some thought that she had fooled them on purpose. She was devastated. She thought she made this up. But somewhere in the back of her mind, this story that was shared, surfaced to the part of her mind that was trying to create something original. She hesitated in creating anything from then on, always second guessing herself, "Are these my thoughts? or someone else's?"
Originality is tricky. In the text, a quote was shared, "nothing you do will ever be original unless you are born that way" especially in thinking.
I'm not original. I'm a product of several experiences in my life. Several stages of my life have brought me to who I am. Several people in my life have affected my style, my appearance, my thinking, and my beliefs. That's okay. I fought this for a long time. I didn't want to be just another face, another person with the same story, and I tried hard to resist fitting any "mold" anyone had for me. I refused to be in any stage in my life appropriate for my age. And to be honest, I think those lines have been blurred. At 21.. you should be….. at 27.. you should have…. at 35.. you should be there…. at 46 you should already have… and at 65, you should be where you want or should be.
Thing is.. I don't have a clue where I want to be or if I'm anywhere I want to be. I'm 26 and without a clue. I have the "essentials" down. I know what I want to do for a living. But thats it. Some would say I'm still young.. I have plenty of time.. Then 36 rolls around, distracted by the mentality of "I have all the time in the world..." and will I be where I want to be then? Where should I be? I also don't want to think about it so much that I forget to be where I am.
What does this have to do with Helen's fight with original thought? Well that's where I'm having trouble figuring out what are my thoughts and wants and what are not mine.
Do I want a house? With a cute dog? and nice furniture? a not so "collegy" car? nice shoes, professional clothing for work? to not dress like I'm a kid anymore? married? thinking about the future and kids?
Or do I want to be young still? Be free? Independent? able to move on a whim? hang out all night and sleep in? without the traditional pressures of "growing up?'
Or do I want that balance I keep talking about? and if so.. how do I get that?
So many people give their input when this topic comes up… friends who have assumed the roles, and other who have not, and they both criticize each other for giving in.
What do I want? and how do I know that it is truly my want and not someone else's story shared with me long ago surfacing when I think I'm creating my own want.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
in pursuit
The pursuit has always been a romantic one.
The one with guesses and created assumptions
The one that is longed for as you turn back
just to see if they are indeed pursuing,
The one with twists and turns,
turning your stomach along with it.
But this one,
This one is a new one,
This one is not so romantic, yet still so very.
This one is a pursuit of people
Many different kinds of people.
The ones that make you laugh,
the ones you can finally make laugh
The ones that can sit and talk for hours,
or just walk in silence,
enjoying every moment that passes.
This pursuit is not the romantic kind, and yet, very much so.
In pursuit of people.
The ones with mysterious lives
The ones that are open books, ready to be read.
The ones that have been dying to live,
and the ones who are living, so inspiringly.
The ones with stories, and they all have stories.
Different people, with different voices,
different instruments, different talents.
The old ones.
The ones with a history not found in books,
The ones with young hearts
and wrinkled hands.
The young ones.
With stories ready to be written,
The ones with young hopes
and old souls
The ones with a friendship to offer,
and ready to receive.
The ones who not only lend you an ear,
but give you their heart to share your burdens.
The ones you share blood with,
in pursuit of an even closer bond.
The ones you call kin,
and also call friend.
Those who don't share the same blood,
but share the same bond.
In pursuit of those already known,
to get to know all over again.
The ones you've had all your life,
to make sure they're a part of the rest of your life.
Someday,
I'll pay attention to the other pursuit,
The romantic kind.
The one that makes your heart beat louder than it does.
The one that keeps you glancing over your shoulder,
checking to see if they are pursuing you.
For now, I pursuit people.
Different kinds.
The kinds with stories,
and they all have stories.
The one with guesses and created assumptions
The one that is longed for as you turn back
just to see if they are indeed pursuing,
The one with twists and turns,
turning your stomach along with it.
But this one,
This one is a new one,
This one is not so romantic, yet still so very.
This one is a pursuit of people
Many different kinds of people.
The ones that make you laugh,
the ones you can finally make laugh
The ones that can sit and talk for hours,
or just walk in silence,
enjoying every moment that passes.
This pursuit is not the romantic kind, and yet, very much so.
In pursuit of people.
The ones with mysterious lives
The ones that are open books, ready to be read.
The ones that have been dying to live,
and the ones who are living, so inspiringly.
The ones with stories, and they all have stories.
Different people, with different voices,
different instruments, different talents.
The old ones.
The ones with a history not found in books,
The ones with young hearts
and wrinkled hands.
The young ones.
With stories ready to be written,
The ones with young hopes
and old souls
The ones with a friendship to offer,
and ready to receive.
The ones who not only lend you an ear,
but give you their heart to share your burdens.
The ones you share blood with,
in pursuit of an even closer bond.
The ones you call kin,
and also call friend.
Those who don't share the same blood,
but share the same bond.
In pursuit of those already known,
to get to know all over again.
The ones you've had all your life,
to make sure they're a part of the rest of your life.
Someday,
I'll pay attention to the other pursuit,
The romantic kind.
The one that makes your heart beat louder than it does.
The one that keeps you glancing over your shoulder,
checking to see if they are pursuing you.
For now, I pursuit people.
Different kinds.
The kinds with stories,
and they all have stories.
happiest moments
are those when you can literally feel the excitement of a friends' greatest news..
are those when you see your friends in their shining moment....
are those when someone leaves you the silliest messages on your voicemail...
are those when you and someone can call on any past moment and make it just as good as it was the first time....
are when a friend tells you she misses you.. and means it....
are when you hear the laughter and reactions to a fun movie in a theatre full of pajama-d kids..
are when you get to feel the string of a kite pull at your hand...touching the sky via kite.....
when someone forgives you for getting it stuck in a tree.....
are conversations with kin.. that you are miles away from, yet.. not by blood, but by love are you still in contact with.
are those when the rosie reaches for your hand as she falls asleep next to you....
and when the lily finally accepts you and lets you read to her...
your heart jumps for both of them....
are when you remember that you have a most wonderful family..
and that they're always waiting for you....
are when you see the sky in the most indecisive moods....
are those when you walk with a friend, and you get to share that moment in life with them...forever.
are when you know there is nothing but adventure awaiting.... and knowing you haven't lost the child like heart to take you there......
are those when you see your friends in their shining moment....
are those when someone leaves you the silliest messages on your voicemail...
are those when you and someone can call on any past moment and make it just as good as it was the first time....
are when a friend tells you she misses you.. and means it....
are when you hear the laughter and reactions to a fun movie in a theatre full of pajama-d kids..
are when you get to feel the string of a kite pull at your hand...touching the sky via kite.....
when someone forgives you for getting it stuck in a tree.....
are conversations with kin.. that you are miles away from, yet.. not by blood, but by love are you still in contact with.
are those when the rosie reaches for your hand as she falls asleep next to you....
and when the lily finally accepts you and lets you read to her...
your heart jumps for both of them....
are when you remember that you have a most wonderful family..
and that they're always waiting for you....
are when you see the sky in the most indecisive moods....
are those when you walk with a friend, and you get to share that moment in life with them...forever.
are when you know there is nothing but adventure awaiting.... and knowing you haven't lost the child like heart to take you there......
Saturday, July 19, 2008
value lost: conversation
Somewhere between here and there, the value in certain things has been lost, or maybe just misplaced.Here's one:conversation: Asking someone how their day is going is a pretty loaded question, yet most people quit listening as soon as the words" how is your.." come out of their mouths. I'm talking about strangers too... customers, people we kinda know at the coffee shop, cashiers, etc.
I'm at work and I ask this question over a hundred times in one day, and occasionally someone stops me in my tracks and answers me honestly...." Well she's not doing well" he says..." She has good days and bad days and well today is not a good day.... she's in a great deal of pain..she's fought cancer before..breast cancer and now shes fighting kidney cancer and ..." he goes on. This old old man is having a crappy ass day... his wife is dying.
Another lady tells me she is surviving, her husband died a year ago and having been a housewife all her life, she is just now at ( sixty something?) learning to how sustain herself...A woman tells me she is excited because her son is coming home from the military.. another lady tells me her husband of seven years has a two year old son, that's not hers...
How are you? Heavy words... and most don't listen...even when talking to friends... you are so anxious to tell them about YOUR day... what YOU did... etc. We kinda listen. I'm not saying always.... just sometimes... most of the time...
The things is... most people just need someone to listen.. sometimes... say little things like... " uh huh... " and just react... I asked him what she was fighting.. if she had a good day recently.. letting him know that i don't have any idea what that feels like and i can only imagine... but that i would pray for him and his family to get through this...
The lady with the husband needed to vent... i almost took the part of a long time girlfriend and had my " no ways..." and my " well your better than that..." and ultimately reassured her that she was strong... and that she would be okay in the end....
I shared the excitement for the returning soldier...and told her how wonderful it was to have that happen... i asked her what she planned on doing when he got back.. etc...
As little as it was.. those ( among many) conversations are worth something. Among strangers.... it still had worth.
i love conversation.. Its beautiful... its musical... it can flow smoothly... or have a unique harmony... or it can go totally wrong and be totally off key.. and even those can create some funny stories to tell in future conversation.
The awkwardness in conversation is also intriguing. Its human, its vulnerable. And when the conversation gets comfortable.. the unraveling is pretty cool.Finding people you can carry great conversations is an amazing thing. The kind where no matter what you talk about, you can recall it later that day.. that week... or just later. They stay in your mind like a good song.
I am so fortunate to have found friends and to have a family where conversation is valued. They are carried well, and even when they are not.. they work themselves out into something pretty interesting. Each friend plays a different conversational instrument. And we all play well together... even more, i like introducing friends that don't know each other, almost just to see how well they play together. I'm so blessed to have found friends that play well with me.. and that I play well with.
I know this.. but i know i have abused this art before..i have stopped listening to the answers i had asked, i have tuned out to responses, and stories in anticipation of telling mine. I have devalued the value of conversation, I can only hope to remember this and continue to value the words and stories told to me from now on...
I'm at work and I ask this question over a hundred times in one day, and occasionally someone stops me in my tracks and answers me honestly...." Well she's not doing well" he says..." She has good days and bad days and well today is not a good day.... she's in a great deal of pain..she's fought cancer before..breast cancer and now shes fighting kidney cancer and ..." he goes on. This old old man is having a crappy ass day... his wife is dying.
Another lady tells me she is surviving, her husband died a year ago and having been a housewife all her life, she is just now at ( sixty something?) learning to how sustain herself...A woman tells me she is excited because her son is coming home from the military.. another lady tells me her husband of seven years has a two year old son, that's not hers...
How are you? Heavy words... and most don't listen...even when talking to friends... you are so anxious to tell them about YOUR day... what YOU did... etc. We kinda listen. I'm not saying always.... just sometimes... most of the time...
The things is... most people just need someone to listen.. sometimes... say little things like... " uh huh... " and just react... I asked him what she was fighting.. if she had a good day recently.. letting him know that i don't have any idea what that feels like and i can only imagine... but that i would pray for him and his family to get through this...
The lady with the husband needed to vent... i almost took the part of a long time girlfriend and had my " no ways..." and my " well your better than that..." and ultimately reassured her that she was strong... and that she would be okay in the end....
I shared the excitement for the returning soldier...and told her how wonderful it was to have that happen... i asked her what she planned on doing when he got back.. etc...
As little as it was.. those ( among many) conversations are worth something. Among strangers.... it still had worth.
i love conversation.. Its beautiful... its musical... it can flow smoothly... or have a unique harmony... or it can go totally wrong and be totally off key.. and even those can create some funny stories to tell in future conversation.
The awkwardness in conversation is also intriguing. Its human, its vulnerable. And when the conversation gets comfortable.. the unraveling is pretty cool.Finding people you can carry great conversations is an amazing thing. The kind where no matter what you talk about, you can recall it later that day.. that week... or just later. They stay in your mind like a good song.
I am so fortunate to have found friends and to have a family where conversation is valued. They are carried well, and even when they are not.. they work themselves out into something pretty interesting. Each friend plays a different conversational instrument. And we all play well together... even more, i like introducing friends that don't know each other, almost just to see how well they play together. I'm so blessed to have found friends that play well with me.. and that I play well with.
I know this.. but i know i have abused this art before..i have stopped listening to the answers i had asked, i have tuned out to responses, and stories in anticipation of telling mine. I have devalued the value of conversation, I can only hope to remember this and continue to value the words and stories told to me from now on...
Monday, June 30, 2008
spoiled
How does one gain the necessary patience to get through the waiting season? There is a certain jealousy i hold for those who wait patiently. Those who save up for things they want. Those who are capable of waiting and displaying the discipline in not falling into the spoiled nature. The spoiled nature is that of wanting something and getting it, even if the timing is wrong, its not ready, your not ready, and possibly ruining it due to your impatience. I carry this, heavily. I want something. I get it.
I don't know the feeling of not having money.
I'm not rich, by any means, but i have this beautiful little piece of plastic that has taught me one thing, "get it now....pay for it later". Meanwhile, the interest piles up, charges start rolling in, ten dollars here, twenty there, fifty here, so on and so on. A year later I'm paying for a dinner i ate six months ago. A year later, I'm paying for something that's hanging in my closet, unused, ready to go to Goodwill. A year later, I'm paying for my spoiled nature, and more than likely adding on to this debt by buying more things.
i spend money like i have it.
I don't know how to wait. I know the concept, but don't know how to put it in action. One thing i have learned from Christianity that has been pretty consistent in my learning, is the act of waiting. Waiting on the Lord. Hmm... this one is tricky. I should wait on the Lord, meanwhile, i should continue to live, according to his will. How does one know where his will is? How do i know if i am going the right direction? Even when i feel i am going the wrong direction, how do i know its not really the right direction? Waiting.
I should be waiting. I'm not. Instead i fall into debt, not financially but emotionally, impatiently, and spiritually.
waiting.
Such a difficult task.
we wait for test results, we wait for someone to get home, we wait to do something we want to do until the appropriate time, we wait to get our paychecks, we wait to hear what we have always wanted to hear, we wait. We wait to allow time for preparation. We wait, and wait and wait. Then the moment comes, and its over so quickly. you move on to the next thing to wait for.
This patience, and discipline is much needed, much needed for this wait.
I don't know the feeling of not having money.
I'm not rich, by any means, but i have this beautiful little piece of plastic that has taught me one thing, "get it now....pay for it later". Meanwhile, the interest piles up, charges start rolling in, ten dollars here, twenty there, fifty here, so on and so on. A year later I'm paying for a dinner i ate six months ago. A year later, I'm paying for something that's hanging in my closet, unused, ready to go to Goodwill. A year later, I'm paying for my spoiled nature, and more than likely adding on to this debt by buying more things.
i spend money like i have it.
I don't know how to wait. I know the concept, but don't know how to put it in action. One thing i have learned from Christianity that has been pretty consistent in my learning, is the act of waiting. Waiting on the Lord. Hmm... this one is tricky. I should wait on the Lord, meanwhile, i should continue to live, according to his will. How does one know where his will is? How do i know if i am going the right direction? Even when i feel i am going the wrong direction, how do i know its not really the right direction? Waiting.
I should be waiting. I'm not. Instead i fall into debt, not financially but emotionally, impatiently, and spiritually.
waiting.
Such a difficult task.
we wait for test results, we wait for someone to get home, we wait to do something we want to do until the appropriate time, we wait to get our paychecks, we wait to hear what we have always wanted to hear, we wait. We wait to allow time for preparation. We wait, and wait and wait. Then the moment comes, and its over so quickly. you move on to the next thing to wait for.
This patience, and discipline is much needed, much needed for this wait.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
an act of love
Love
Love is amazing.
It is some sort of reward, and a sort of grace, it alleviates pain.
When in love, or in its presence, there is a period of suffering. The suffering comes from the yearning, the wanting, the missing, and the fear of losing love.
When you know that a love exists, you know you can miss out on it.
When you know that such a wonderful thing is out there, you yearn for it.
We look for it in each other. I seek love. On a daily basis, I also try to give love. Sometimes I don't have to give a thought, it just happens, I love.
Other times, I have to pull it out, and hand it over.
Love is amazing. It's a gift to one another. You can see it, you can feel it, and you can experience it.
From friends, you give and receive love constantly. To hear my friends say to me that they love me is amazing. It causes the same sort of heartbeat skipping that one gets from the romantic love. I know their love is true, they show it in conversation, in action and in loyalty. They show their love in sacrifice. I can only hope that they feel the same love from me.
Family love is also a blessing. To know that these people who share your blood would do anything for you. It is especially a blessing when you can say in confidence that this love will fight anything, only to keep you together. I love my family, with a love that is irreplaceable.
These are interchangeable. Sometimes, a family becomes wonderful friends, and sometimes, wonderful friends become your family.
We seek love. Those who are without love in their lives seek love; those with love seek more of it. It's the one thing that keeps everyone in pursuit.
Love
I've often looked over my faith, my beliefs and wonder why it is I decided to follow this. What is it that has kept me coming back to this? What holds on to me even when I try to run away, and oh I have tried to run away from this? I've been given proof. There is too much in history to deny the existence of Jesus Christ. There is also too much evidence of his resurrection. There is too much in the world to deny a creator. All of this wasn't enough.
Something happened. A man died on a cross like many others before him. The only crime he committed according to those who crucified him, was telling us about love. The one thing that is beautiful above all beauties!! He told us that there is a love, a love that desires us.. US. He didn't tell anyone to kill him to prove to the world that He brought us salvation through love; he was killed because he said it anyway. I gave this analogy to a friend. If a someone were to go somewhere to defend someone, or to give them information that would save a life, even though they knew it would not be accepted by others and they might be ousted forever for saying these things, and they said it anyway, in LOVE, they would be showing an act of love, and if there were consequences after that, then so be it. There was a consequence after this; his dying on the cross was not the act of love, yet the consequence of His telling us of this great love. Imagine a woman jumping into the river to save her children from drowning, her intention is not to die, but she risks it in order to save the lives of her babies. She dies in the process, saving the lives of her children, giving her own, because she loved them. He came to us to show us love. All his teachings, all of what is written is based on love. LOVE. Yet, we deny it. We focus on the "religion" on the things we don't like about this religion, the churches and their fancy buildings, the "Christians" that so recklessly carry his name, because obviously, they are to be perfect should they decide to carry that name. ( sarc) We focus on the imposing it does on our lives.. " prayer.. psshhh.. church… no way… I don't want a Jesus fish on my car.. I don't want to go to bible studies and become another one of those…." well then don't. But know this…. there is love. And all of this "stuff" you see out there in the world is a distraction from the truth His love. Should you ever decided to ask this "God" out there what its all about… you will see that it is ultimately about love.
The suffering that we do, in the name of love, the sacrifices we make in the name of love. For friends, for family, for romance, we do in pursuit of love and in giving love. He did that too. He desires our love. Not our money, not our rituals, nothing other than acknowledgement that what He did for us what love, and that this love is the gateway to Him, and a relationship with. All the other things, will slowly unravel in understanding, and we won't ever understand everything, just like the mother who dies to save her children, she will never be completely understood, her children will never know all the thoughts that made up her mind, or why she did things the way she did, or why she gave them limitations and boundaries, or why she brought them into this world. The one thing that is absolutely clear is she acted out on love in creating a bond and relationship with her children and in the end saving them.
Love is amazing.
It is some sort of reward, and a sort of grace, it alleviates pain.
When in love, or in its presence, there is a period of suffering. The suffering comes from the yearning, the wanting, the missing, and the fear of losing love.
When you know that a love exists, you know you can miss out on it.
When you know that such a wonderful thing is out there, you yearn for it.
We look for it in each other. I seek love. On a daily basis, I also try to give love. Sometimes I don't have to give a thought, it just happens, I love.
Other times, I have to pull it out, and hand it over.
Love is amazing. It's a gift to one another. You can see it, you can feel it, and you can experience it.
From friends, you give and receive love constantly. To hear my friends say to me that they love me is amazing. It causes the same sort of heartbeat skipping that one gets from the romantic love. I know their love is true, they show it in conversation, in action and in loyalty. They show their love in sacrifice. I can only hope that they feel the same love from me.
Family love is also a blessing. To know that these people who share your blood would do anything for you. It is especially a blessing when you can say in confidence that this love will fight anything, only to keep you together. I love my family, with a love that is irreplaceable.
These are interchangeable. Sometimes, a family becomes wonderful friends, and sometimes, wonderful friends become your family.
We seek love. Those who are without love in their lives seek love; those with love seek more of it. It's the one thing that keeps everyone in pursuit.
Love
I've often looked over my faith, my beliefs and wonder why it is I decided to follow this. What is it that has kept me coming back to this? What holds on to me even when I try to run away, and oh I have tried to run away from this? I've been given proof. There is too much in history to deny the existence of Jesus Christ. There is also too much evidence of his resurrection. There is too much in the world to deny a creator. All of this wasn't enough.
Something happened. A man died on a cross like many others before him. The only crime he committed according to those who crucified him, was telling us about love. The one thing that is beautiful above all beauties!! He told us that there is a love, a love that desires us.. US. He didn't tell anyone to kill him to prove to the world that He brought us salvation through love; he was killed because he said it anyway. I gave this analogy to a friend. If a someone were to go somewhere to defend someone, or to give them information that would save a life, even though they knew it would not be accepted by others and they might be ousted forever for saying these things, and they said it anyway, in LOVE, they would be showing an act of love, and if there were consequences after that, then so be it. There was a consequence after this; his dying on the cross was not the act of love, yet the consequence of His telling us of this great love. Imagine a woman jumping into the river to save her children from drowning, her intention is not to die, but she risks it in order to save the lives of her babies. She dies in the process, saving the lives of her children, giving her own, because she loved them. He came to us to show us love. All his teachings, all of what is written is based on love. LOVE. Yet, we deny it. We focus on the "religion" on the things we don't like about this religion, the churches and their fancy buildings, the "Christians" that so recklessly carry his name, because obviously, they are to be perfect should they decide to carry that name. ( sarc) We focus on the imposing it does on our lives.. " prayer.. psshhh.. church… no way… I don't want a Jesus fish on my car.. I don't want to go to bible studies and become another one of those…." well then don't. But know this…. there is love. And all of this "stuff" you see out there in the world is a distraction from the truth His love. Should you ever decided to ask this "God" out there what its all about… you will see that it is ultimately about love.
The suffering that we do, in the name of love, the sacrifices we make in the name of love. For friends, for family, for romance, we do in pursuit of love and in giving love. He did that too. He desires our love. Not our money, not our rituals, nothing other than acknowledgement that what He did for us what love, and that this love is the gateway to Him, and a relationship with. All the other things, will slowly unravel in understanding, and we won't ever understand everything, just like the mother who dies to save her children, she will never be completely understood, her children will never know all the thoughts that made up her mind, or why she did things the way she did, or why she gave them limitations and boundaries, or why she brought them into this world. The one thing that is absolutely clear is she acted out on love in creating a bond and relationship with her children and in the end saving them.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
the rebellion
I think people believe they exist in a time that encourages self thought. The time of " do as you are told, believe as you are told, think as you are told" are somewhat over. We are no longer at the grip of authority in thought. You can argue this, but really, we live in a time and day that we are pretty much allowed to hold our own beliefs. ( at least here in America) You can not force me to live a life I refuse to live. While we do have societal standards as to how we are going to survive, and if we don't follow these standards, we may lose the freedom to live comfortably, we still have the choice to live as we please. We are no longer in the days of the witch hunt where people are killed for our differences ( yes i understand it still happens.. but as a society... its pretty much not acceptable). The idea that a woman is to stay at home and raise children is outdated. We are no longer to believe in one true God. We are allowed to meet him wherever and however, at our pace, and on our terms. This "God" will meet us where we want to meet.
We've rebelled from the the norms and the standards that a higher governance has set for us. I pretty much can choose to believe what i want, to live a certain life and to be a certain way, of course, without denying someone rights to the same freedoms.
But... what if... i want to be a stay at home mom... well then, i stand the chance of being accused of falling to the sexist mentality that has been ruling time. I stand being ousted by professional women who say that's not what i really want.. i just want that because that's what I've been told i want. What if i want to cook and clean for my husband, while he goes to work and supports the family. All of this within reason, ( he's not to abuse this either) What if i choose to believe in One TRUE God? Well that's silly. Why would you do that when we've been trying so hard to get away from the rules, rituals, and suffocatings of Christianity? Especially when there are so many other religions that do not tell you there is only ONE way to God. That's so restrictive
Why not?
I believe people have lost the full ability to think for themselves. Just because someone, somewhere, in some time, abused the idea, took it and distorted it, manipulated it, rearranged it and kept the same name... doesn't mean that at some point, in the beginning, it wasn't something good.
Women... we are nurturing. We want to take care of the ones we love... I know i do. In whatever way i can, i want to make sure they are taken care of... children, or no children, we are nurturing. We were created to hold life... whether or not we do.. we as a whole, were created to do so... that's a HUGE call! That requires a strength that comes from being nurturing. That's okay. We are not weaker than, we just acquire different strengths. We can tolerate immense pain, but we still maintain an amount of delicacy. I'm okay with that. I want to be delicate, I want to be taken care of too. I want the man i marry to be a stronger person, ( not just by physical strength) but by having the ability to take care of me, while I'm taking care of our children and him as well. Chivalry is now considered offensive. Opening a door for you doesn't mean they think you can't, they are just making a gesture of courtesy! A genuine man of strength acknowledges your strength, but will also let you use it whenever he can't, and will almost let you save your strength for whenever you need it. But i have been told, that if a man offers to open the door, or to carry something heavy, or let him take care of something, it means, he thinks i can't. Like mentioned earlier, some men have manipulated this, and actually do think we are weak, fragile beings that can't do anything, and really any man who thinks this way, and is aware of the fact that women give birth, and go through almost a weeks worth of pain EVERY month, really aren't worth the argument. They speak for themselves. All I am saying, is.... i feel in our rebellion of what a woman's place is, we lost our own desire to where we want to be. Sure, be a professional... be a career woman, let your husband stay at home. That's fine! but if you want to stay home.. then do it... and don;t feel that you are surrendering to the idea that you are doing exactly what "we've" fought so hard to get away from.
As for God. I think that religion has been shoved down our throats for so long, that now, we spit out everything!!
Everyone is so okay now with believing in anything but the Christian God. If you decide to follow anything BUT Christianity , than you are truly open minded and wise. But if you choose to believe in Jesus, and His Divinity, well then ,you haven't really explored your options.
Thing is.. people reject Christ, because they can't possibly believe in that ... yet they fall into the novelties of a million other religions and beliefs without exploring its validity. Christians are constantly being mocked and criticized., but how dare you say something to disgrace the honor of Buddha, or any of the Hindu Gods. I'm not encouraging anyone to start doing this, its not right to disrespect anyone or their beliefs. But as a whole, I think that its become more okay to reject and mock Christianity than any other belief. Yes, i am aware that there have been some ( many ) "Christians" that have done many unruly things, but if you knew anything about this faith, and what it is based on, these " Christian" masks would be removed and you would see that these people were not acting on faith, and on a relationship with Christ. Christianity has nothing to hide. Its open to investigation. Its open to examination. Its a shame that people have taken the name, manipulated it, twisted it and carried it to open forums for everyone to see. If someone was to take my name, and in the name of "Flora" do horrendous things, wrong things, manipulated things, of course, people would see that, and of course pay little attention to the other who in my name went out and did good. If others took my name and in my name were helpful, gentle, and loving people, they would not get the same attention. Without ever knowing anything about ME, you would reject me, because you never even tried to know me. Without ever knowing Jesus, people reject Him. They base their view on those who have taken his name and acted solely on their manipulating intentions.
Because so many have shoved this religion down people's throats, this FAITH is being spit out. Should people decide to try and see for themselves.. who knows... you might agree with it.
SO think for yourselves, we are allowed that freedom, and i feel as if though we have been tricked into thinking we have had this freedom. Its really been pushed to the opposite and become sort of a rebellion.
"eat vegetables, they are good for you..."
" No.. i don't wanna eat vegetables.. you can't tell me what to do"..
We've rebelled from the the norms and the standards that a higher governance has set for us. I pretty much can choose to believe what i want, to live a certain life and to be a certain way, of course, without denying someone rights to the same freedoms.
But... what if... i want to be a stay at home mom... well then, i stand the chance of being accused of falling to the sexist mentality that has been ruling time. I stand being ousted by professional women who say that's not what i really want.. i just want that because that's what I've been told i want. What if i want to cook and clean for my husband, while he goes to work and supports the family. All of this within reason, ( he's not to abuse this either) What if i choose to believe in One TRUE God? Well that's silly. Why would you do that when we've been trying so hard to get away from the rules, rituals, and suffocatings of Christianity? Especially when there are so many other religions that do not tell you there is only ONE way to God. That's so restrictive
Why not?
I believe people have lost the full ability to think for themselves. Just because someone, somewhere, in some time, abused the idea, took it and distorted it, manipulated it, rearranged it and kept the same name... doesn't mean that at some point, in the beginning, it wasn't something good.
Women... we are nurturing. We want to take care of the ones we love... I know i do. In whatever way i can, i want to make sure they are taken care of... children, or no children, we are nurturing. We were created to hold life... whether or not we do.. we as a whole, were created to do so... that's a HUGE call! That requires a strength that comes from being nurturing. That's okay. We are not weaker than, we just acquire different strengths. We can tolerate immense pain, but we still maintain an amount of delicacy. I'm okay with that. I want to be delicate, I want to be taken care of too. I want the man i marry to be a stronger person, ( not just by physical strength) but by having the ability to take care of me, while I'm taking care of our children and him as well. Chivalry is now considered offensive. Opening a door for you doesn't mean they think you can't, they are just making a gesture of courtesy! A genuine man of strength acknowledges your strength, but will also let you use it whenever he can't, and will almost let you save your strength for whenever you need it. But i have been told, that if a man offers to open the door, or to carry something heavy, or let him take care of something, it means, he thinks i can't. Like mentioned earlier, some men have manipulated this, and actually do think we are weak, fragile beings that can't do anything, and really any man who thinks this way, and is aware of the fact that women give birth, and go through almost a weeks worth of pain EVERY month, really aren't worth the argument. They speak for themselves. All I am saying, is.... i feel in our rebellion of what a woman's place is, we lost our own desire to where we want to be. Sure, be a professional... be a career woman, let your husband stay at home. That's fine! but if you want to stay home.. then do it... and don;t feel that you are surrendering to the idea that you are doing exactly what "we've" fought so hard to get away from.
As for God. I think that religion has been shoved down our throats for so long, that now, we spit out everything!!
Everyone is so okay now with believing in anything but the Christian God. If you decide to follow anything BUT Christianity , than you are truly open minded and wise. But if you choose to believe in Jesus, and His Divinity, well then ,you haven't really explored your options.
Thing is.. people reject Christ, because they can't possibly believe in that ... yet they fall into the novelties of a million other religions and beliefs without exploring its validity. Christians are constantly being mocked and criticized., but how dare you say something to disgrace the honor of Buddha, or any of the Hindu Gods. I'm not encouraging anyone to start doing this, its not right to disrespect anyone or their beliefs. But as a whole, I think that its become more okay to reject and mock Christianity than any other belief. Yes, i am aware that there have been some ( many ) "Christians" that have done many unruly things, but if you knew anything about this faith, and what it is based on, these " Christian" masks would be removed and you would see that these people were not acting on faith, and on a relationship with Christ. Christianity has nothing to hide. Its open to investigation. Its open to examination. Its a shame that people have taken the name, manipulated it, twisted it and carried it to open forums for everyone to see. If someone was to take my name, and in the name of "Flora" do horrendous things, wrong things, manipulated things, of course, people would see that, and of course pay little attention to the other who in my name went out and did good. If others took my name and in my name were helpful, gentle, and loving people, they would not get the same attention. Without ever knowing anything about ME, you would reject me, because you never even tried to know me. Without ever knowing Jesus, people reject Him. They base their view on those who have taken his name and acted solely on their manipulating intentions.
Because so many have shoved this religion down people's throats, this FAITH is being spit out. Should people decide to try and see for themselves.. who knows... you might agree with it.
SO think for yourselves, we are allowed that freedom, and i feel as if though we have been tricked into thinking we have had this freedom. Its really been pushed to the opposite and become sort of a rebellion.
"eat vegetables, they are good for you..."
" No.. i don't wanna eat vegetables.. you can't tell me what to do"..
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